In NaNo smallness, I’m keeping my blogs short in November while participating in National Novel Writing Month. This is short, but I hope it will make you think, I know it did for me.
A few weeks back, I was riding with one of our salespeople in Grand Rapids, MI, and he stopped off at Calvin College to see his son. He showed me around campus, as he is an alumni from there as well. I noticed how happy and upbeat all the young people were as we walked around. I thought, “Man, it must be nice to have your entire life ahead of you.” As we were driving later that day, I was thinking about this, and I realized that I STILL have my entire life ahead of me. You see, the only life we have is the one that is still in front of us. So from that perspective, we have it all available to us to do as we please. So the question is, “How am I going to live the rest of my life? Will I look backward, or forward?”
What do you think? Do I have it right, or is this just the “wishful thinking” of someone in their 50s? Let us know what you think, and thanks for stopping by. ~clink~
I think you’ve definitely got it right, Kerry! I’ve actually been thinking about this a lot myself lately. I might not have exactly the life I want to live right now, but I’ve got time to get there ahead of me. I’m a big believer in always looking forward, because there are always great things ahead.
I agree L.S. I occassionally look back, but it’s more to see where I’ve made poor decisions so I don’t repeat them. But I’ve always looked forward, which has served me well so far. Thanks for stopping by. ~clink~
Love this post Kerry and such a great reminder.
Hubby and I actually argue about this point quite often because he’s more the type to look backward regretting what he hasn’t done, feeling like the clock is running out and he’s only got a limited time to try and squeeze it all in. He doesn’t want to miss anything and feels somewhat like his best years are behind him.
We don’t differ often but this is a big one for us. I am the total opposite. I see no point to wallowing in regret or being fearful of “not getting it all done” or on missing out on my “best” years.
The beauty of it is that it’s all a matter of perspective. If I choose to see these, whatever they may be, as my “best” years, then that is what they are! Period. To me, the most wonderful gift we can give ourselves is to always look ahead to the future with wonderment, opportunity and potential. To live life fully and richly with gratitute and excitement. I want to be 80 and still feel like those are the best years/times in my life…why not?!?!
I say…give em’ hell…you gotta it WAY right!
~clink~
LOL – Thanks Nat. As I just mentioned to L.S., I also look back, but it’s only to see why I made poor decisions before so I don’t make the same mistakes again. I’ve always believed that I made the best decision at the time I made it, with the information I had. I think most people are like that. We drive ourselves crazy when we think we made a bad decision with our 20/20 hindsight as the measure. I try to look for patterns in my decision making, such as being too conservative or responding emotionally, that I can then improve on when I make new decisions. I try to look back to see where I can improve my decision making process, and I look forward to see what decisions I want to make to shape my world. It seems to work for me. Thanks for stopping by and sharing. ~clink~
Looking ahead at all the possibilities life still holds is what keeps me going! I would hate to think the best part of my life was in my 20′s when I made all those (ahem) mistakes. ~clink~
Ummm. I don’t want to go there either.
Thanks for stopping by, Mary Jo. ~clink~
You all have it right! Looking forward is the only way to proceed. Just remember when you wake up each day that you have been given a gift … it always sounds kind of sombre and negative but the fact is that no one is promised a tomorrow. So take the gift of today and make the most of it. Live by the golden rule and follow your dreams at every age … and always take time to have a glass of sweet tea with a friend.~clink~
Amen sister. <> Thanks for coming by and visiting. Your words are so true. ~clink~
VERY true. And very wise.
Thanks, Jenny. ~clink~
Thanks for the positive outlook, Kerry. I’ve been struggling with this exact thing. I’m about to turn 33 next month…and I know I’m young, but I feel old and I have this problem with believing that I don’t have much in front of me.
I know…that sounds so depressing lol I don’t mean that I have nothing to look forward to, or I don’t enjoy my life, because I do. I’m crazy about my husband (even after 9 years! woot!), I’m in love with my children, and I have a very good life. I just have this sense that I’ve wasted my 20s, and the repercussions of that have defined the rest of my life…like, what’s done is done.
So here I am, struggling with this whole writing thing, trying to redefine my life and create this whole new view from my own personal window…but I have this nagging voice in my head that keeps telling me, “what’s done is done, you had your chance and you blew it. Better luck next time.”
Fear? Probably.
Anyway, thanks for the encouraging words, my friend. I needed to read them
~clink~
Kate, I remember worrying about this exact thing when I was 33, 34, 35. When I turned 35, single with no babies and no prospects, I was FREAKING out. I had a BFF who said, “You are exactly where you need to be RIGHT NOW.
And she was right. My mom died when I was 35 and I believe she sent my (now) hubby to me.
Would I have been ready to handle all these things earlier? I really don’t think so. You’ll get your Zen on…just ride your wave. (And come out dancing with ME!!)
Jenny, you and Kerry have it going ON! I can relate to Kate, too. Next year, I turn 50, and I feel like I’m only NOW figuring out what I want to be when I grow up?! What the heck!
But on the other hand, it took me a long time to get to where I am now, in terms of confidence, emotional maturity, and feeling like I have enough life experiences that give me something to say in my writing. And I’m married to such a fab guy, who gets me and supports me. So I am very lucky.
Gotta take good care of myself, though – I don’t bounce back as easily as I used to!
Thanks, Kerry, for a great post!
LOL – Neither do I, Kathy. Recovery takes much longer, but that’s okay because I’m doing more too. Thanks for stopping by. ~clink~
Jenny – First, what in the world were you doing up at midnight?! lol Thank you so much for the reply. It brought tears to my eyes, and made me feel a little less alone and a little less lost. And I’m SO going dancing with you!!
Kathy – I appreciate your words of wisdom. I know you weren’t replying directly to me, but it was good to read them all the same.
Thank you both, and thank YOU, Kerry for the great post!
I’m so glad you shared your thoughts with us, Kate. This make blogging worthwhile. I’ve got the coolest online friends in the world. You guys rock. ~clink~
“You’ll get your Zen on” – I love it. Thanks for sharing, Jenny. You rock. ~clink~
Wow. I’ve been traveling today, and now I read through these strings. I think I’ve hit on a real nerve here. Kate, I know you are going to do great things, and with a husband and children you love, you already have. I’m 20 years ahead of you, and I’m still reassessing constantly. You haven’t blown anything. You have way over half your total life, and probably 75% of your adult life, yet to live. You’re rocking the free world, and it’s all good to go for the future. For goodness sake, take the bull by the horns and ride that puppy until he yells for mercy. My philosophy, “Think about the past, but only to the extent that it helps you to live better in the present and future.” ~clink~
Kerry,
Very nice. I totally agree with you. And when you told Natalie that “we drive ourselves crazy with 20/20 hindsight” you are so right! We do make those decisions with the best information that “we have at the time”. And then look back wishing we could change those decisions.
I am a year and a half off of 50. I used to think that my life was running out, that when i reach my 50s that I was downhill to the grave.
And then I started writing. Suddenly life is ahead of me and I am going to live each day the best I can everyday. I may not end up famous or wealthy but I will live without regret. And that makes me quite happy.
Thanks Kerry. ~clink~
oops, sorry didn’t mean to slop wine on your hand! ~hands over a napkin~ this might help!
Wiping wine stains off of hands. There now, ~clink~
I a few years ahead of you, Shellie, but I agree completely. Life is what you make of it at whatever point you are in life. Thanks for stopping by. ~clink~
The past is a whispered reminder, it cannot be recaptured any more than one can catch the wind in their hands. The only direction is forward to the future and that, is always in front of us. So, yes, you have it right, all of our lives are always in front of us, regardless of age. Peace, my friend, well thought
~clink~
I knew there was a reason that I like you as my ROWbro.
Thanks, Gene. ~clink~
I think you totally have it right. I’m staring down the barrel of 40 and I’m thrilled about it. Yes, really! I was just talking to someone the other day though who is 55 and has boxed herself in and made a life of smallness. I’m trying to help her open things up, but it’s tough if someone doesn’t have that mindset. Contrasted with my parents, who are 70, and are constantly doing new things. great post.
I have friends and family that are similar to your friend. It’s very difficult to help someone who things the best years of their life are behind them. The mindset is so difficult to change. I hope you’re able to. I’m 53, and I really feel that the best is yet to come. Thanks for stopping by, JM. ~clink~
I think this is a wonderful perspective, and need to start applying it to myself! Our oldest is about to start university. I’m so excited for her, but also if I’m honest, a little envious. How I’d love to be studying something new. But you know what? You’re right. My life is ahead of me just as hers is ahead of her. As you say, the best is yet to come.
Pingback: A Very Special Tabhartas (tribute)… « Kate Wood's Blog